bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
ugly people sure do ruin things
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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