honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize