Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
