thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize