i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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