What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
