we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Welp...herpes.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
