So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It's blow job season.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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