dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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