we have officially lost it.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
