i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
