you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
