alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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