If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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