AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize