UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
