it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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