what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
