i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
