so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
