i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm really busy with my period
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