the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
