You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
