I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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