Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
