That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
