I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
