So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Found your dick twin last night
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
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