Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize