okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
