I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
