You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
