I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
