just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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