I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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