Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
