This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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