you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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