i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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