i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Sober January is a disaster.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
