we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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