Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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