hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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