Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
