My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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