DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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