oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
