What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
