I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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