Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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