saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Boobs are out for the taking
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
