Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize