worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
