And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I am puke
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
