what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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