when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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