He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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