Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
