im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
