I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
