what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
